Is Hangover-free Wine Finally Here?

hangover

In news that will excite over-zealous (and just moderately zealous) wine drinkers everywhere, researchers at UC Davis have just revealed a successful new endeavor that will allow hedonistic oenophiles to enjoy an all-you-can drink evening of indulgence — without the painful hangover the following morning. It sounds too good to be true, but a team of viticulturists has been quietly working for nearly a decade to develop a grape variety that contains all of the pleasurable elements needed to produce wine, with none of the harmful effects (although they will not accept responsibility for your regrettable karaoke decisions after a few too many glasses).

There is a known link between phenols, a group of chemical compounds that affect the color, aroma, and taste of a wine, and anthocyanins, which contribute color but little else. Anthocyanins are also known to contain antioxidant properties, which carry great health benefits. Phenols, on the other hand, are the main culprit causing your wine hangover. In a series of lab tests beginning in 2007, scientists discovered that some phenols are worse than others, and the goal of the recently completed project was to isolate the set of phenols that lack detrimental characteristics.

The new grape variety, known as Gueule de Bois, is a crossing of Gamay, which is notably low in phenols, and Saperavi, a darkly pigmented ancient Georgian variety with high levels of anthocyanins. A special enzymatic treatment is used to remove harmful phenols. The resulting wines have a deep purple hue, firm tannic structure, and aromas and flavors of violets and blackcurrants.

After perfecting the production process in the lab, Davis researchers decided to use their conveniently available population of undergraduate students in order to test the wine. Unsurprisingly, it has been a massive success. Olivia Marshall, a junior majoring in communications, raved about her experience with the new beverage, explaining, “I was able to drink two whole bottles of Gueule de Bois. I don’t remember much — I think it tasted pretty good — but I do know that I managed to make it to my 9 a.m. econ class the following morning and ace my exam on marginal utility!”

The first bottlings of Geule de Bois are expected to hit retail shelves and restaurant wine lists in fall of 2016. We can’t wait to experience our first night of guilt-free gluttony, but until then we will all have to keep our Advil and Gatorade close to our nightstands.

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